The significance of this episode remained with me and topped my list of themes I wanted to develop as painting. I saw a great potential for an image of a man walking with two horses to function as a visual metaphor for the human condition, and saw how it related to the chariot allegory described by Socrates in Phaedrus. I set to work making small sketches and also began a large detailed drawing to study the anatomy of the walking man. I modeled myself in the mirror as reference, and this allowed me to tinker with the body language; adjusting the pose to best express a sense of will and determination. While making the drawings, I found a pair of bronze horse statuettes and an Ethiopian wooden sculpture clothed in a paper dress that was same scale as the horses.

I placed them together on a table arranged as in my sketches. With a lamp, I began to play with the light direction and shadows. The small painting study that ensued featured a Gandhi like figure walking two horses through a stormy landscape. However, I felt a need for greater rhythm in the horse musculature and I remembered Da Vinci’s sketches for an unrealized equestrian monument. I made a careful drawing based on Da Vinci’s, altering the position of the heads and leaving a space for a man that I drew in and erased out.

During the spring, I returned to Odd’s farm in Norway, bringing the recently generated plans and studies with me. It was a perfect time and place to continue working on the composition. Odd had allowed his neighbor to pasture two beautiful horses on his fields and here was a great opportunity. I offered a trade for modeling time with Odd’s long time Norwegian assistant, Jan-Ove. I would model a few hours for one of his paintings and he would hold the horses in place so I could paint them from life. I made another small study using living models, which would then be my guide for a final large-scale painting. I stretched and prepared a large piece of herringbone linen that Odd had given me, and started to transfer the composition finalized with live models. The larger scale required even more information, so I returned to painting myself in the studio with a mirror, however the lighting was not ideal and did not support the illusion that the figure was outdoors. So I set up my painting in the courtyard and continued to model nude using the sun as the light source. I could then observe how the blue of the sky is reflected into the shadows on my skin.

As I was painting the final touches, Odd came out of his studio announcing triumphantly that my painting has the impact of a masterpiece. His comment took me by surprise and melted my hard concentration and caused a welling of tears. Never had anyone praised my work so highly, and it meant so much coming from my mentor who did not believe in flattery. I finally accepted that I had made a beautiful painting. In 2008, the painting was exhibited in the Kitsch Biennale in Munich alongside Odd’s painting, ”Man with a Golden Coin”. During the exhibition the painting sold to a prominent Croatian family, and since then I dreamt of making an even larger and more dramatic painting of the same subject.

Earlier this year, I was invited to an opening at a gallery that was new to me, 12 Gallagher Lane. After several meetings, the director, Derek Cabaniss, invited me into their gallery program. Through many discussions and studio visits we began to solidify a plan for my future exhibition, which is now currently on display until the end of the year. Derek fell in love with the subject matter I had made during my apprenticeship and saw how it would be great addition to the space. Most of the work I still had available was small and I needed to make a few new larger pieces to round out the exhibition. Derek loved the theme of the man with two horses and his encouragement to make a larger version was in line with my desire to paint it.

Stretching a large piece of linen, I prepared the largest representational painting I had ever made. To quickly distinguish it from the three previous versions, I decided to paint the man to look like me and I reversed the image so the subjects now face left rather than to the right. With the four-color palette developed in Odd’s tutelage, I brought the subject into the twilight of a star-lit sky. The darkened stage presence adds potency to the drama and also helps the flesh tones of the man pop. This painting and “Painting in the Dark,” have established a new standard for my work. The focused direction of these paintings has provided me with a road map for the work I am now preparing for next year’s solo exhibitions. One can expect to see me continuing to use the limited palette on herringbone linen to depict open-ended narratives featuring animals and myself in a twilight atmosphere. I am so thankful to those who have continued to support the production of my work.

However, these landscape paintings didn’t contain the same emotive force as figure paintings.  I found myself, once again, driven to paint human beings and their psychological relation to the environment and other living things.

I began to exclusively use a limited-palette in conjunction with other historically proven materials.  The simplicity of using only white, black, red, and yellow allows me to have greater control over the illusion of space and form, and also gives the pictures a darkened patina that harkens back to centuries past.

I tracked down a supplier of Belgium twill linen and promptly bought their entire stock.  The unique herringbone weave of this linen is the strongest and most archival fabric support for painting and its texture is a wonderful surface.

As much as I wanted to return to this body of work, I also had reservations.   For one, the work is quite challenging.  These paintings require serious focus to orchestrate compositions, position the figures, and adjust and fine-tune the facial expressions.  And I was also hesitant to succumb to the fact that: yes, I did learn some very valuable lessons while I was Odd Nerdrum’s apprentice and that I also received some great tools to express my ideas about life experience.

Making the return to this subject matter on my own volition outside of the umbrella of Odd’s tutelage is liberating.  While working with Odd, I was completely steeped in his ideas and surrounded by an international entourage of acolytes.  But now that I have ventured out and have explored other avenues with my work, I must say that I feel so grounded and confident that I have now made this “Journey Back.”  I am so excited about these new paintings and I can say with confidence that they are my best works to date.